Speak it Out

So next week or the week after that I am doing a testimony at Primal. For those of you who don't know, a testimony can be when you speak of what someone or something has done in your life. Anyhow, I am freaking. It is a huge thing to get up in front of a crowd of people that you know reasonably well and speak of your life and its events to them! However, I will ask God for courage and humility to be able to do such a thing.
When I was much younger, my greatest fear was to take part in the annual speech competition, however it was compulsory! I would stand up the front with my piece of paper and my hands would shake uncontrollably! I actually could not stand to be up there.
I beleive that God is working on my confidence however because a few weeks or so ago at a Jason Westerfield meeting after recieving prayer, we were asked to come up the front to share what God had done for us! So I went up the front possibly in front of 200+ people to share my testimony of what God had done for me that night. The fact that I went up there of my own free will is proof that God has changed me in the arena of public speaking and such. I am very excited to be able to do my testimony at Primal, even though I'm rather nervous.


On a different note, next wednesday it is my birthday. What should I do??!

Humbled and Exalted

Hey Blog, I have missed you. Therefore I must write in you in order to not lose this connection that I have with this, not obligating, but what is a fulfilling task at the end of the day.

This week has been both amazing and awful.

I shall begin with the awful stuff.

I used to have a paper round, you see, and on this paper round I did what I thought was an adequete job. I would bike around carrying two over laden bags . I was extrodinarily lucky that for the most part it did not rain.

However, last weekend it did rain. The sky cried and they were big, fat and cold rain drops. As I realised that I would catch a cold if I kept this up, I left half of the paper round and biked home full of relief.

I did not realise that this would be to my detriment, in a major way.

On Tuesday morning I recieved an angry but controlled phone call from my supervisor, who carried on to say that she was "stunned at my deceptive behaviour" Among other accusations and such, her call ended with: "You better take a long, hard look at yourself Gemma, you need to change!"

Needless to say, this left me feeling low, distraught, unworthy, you get the idea.

After I had stopped feeling sorry for myself and wiped away the tears, I got on with my day! My week improved greatly after this, as I purchased a book called Dream Languag, by James W and Michal Ann Goll. This book is amazing! It shows that our dreams can be communication from God, and not a result of eating cheese that night or something. This wonderful book also shows how to record dreams, because they are just so elusive! (Sneaky things)

On Tuesday night I went around to Catherine and Taryn's house armed with chicken, oven chips, icecream and Glee! We had a cool cool time watching far too much Glee and eating icecream.

Last night however, last night was AMAZING!
I don't know of you've heard of Jason Westerfield or not, but he is staying in Christchurch till the 21st November to see revival come!
From 6pm till 11pm last night was a time of miricles, healings, abundant worship and praise.
I got drunk on the Holy Spirit and it was fantastic. My legs were swaying and others were laughing uncontrollably and randomly yelling. Such a good night!

My closing thoughts?

God will always be there for you, he will never leave or forske you!

It is important to be joyful.

Persevere.

A new life

So that last blog post was what happened mostly Before God came into my life, but this will delve a bit deeper into what my life is and has been like over the past two years that I have been a Christian.

Ok so after Primal Getaway was interesting. The road trip home, I carried a sense of peace and joy that I hadn't really experienced before. Among all this, I questioned what I was doing with my life. I questioned whether I should carry on with my hairdressing course or not, I wasn't sure where my life was going in terms of living/job etc. I resolved to start the "Bible in a year" and wanted to be with all the Primal/Church people 24/7. I felt as if I was renewed, like I had a second chance at life.

So before I go more into the recent past/present/future I should give you more info on my past, yeah!

2007-2008
So I used to go to parties, because in Cheviot there really wasn't a lot to do, or so I thought. I felt like I couldn't have a good time without drinking so drinking is what I did. I'm not saying I did it all the time or get incredibly wrecked but what I am saying is that my motives for doing it were because I felt like I couldn't enjoy myself without it. There was a time where I mixed the drinks I was consuming and became unconscious and began to be sick, all because drinking was what everyone was doing and I didn't think I could have fun without it!

There was another time when I was at a club with my friends and I was so nervous about hanging out with a certain guy that I drunk a lot and made a general fool of myself and got removed from the club because my behaviour was out of line, all because I relied so much on what other people thought!

I tried marijuana several times because I thought it would help me to have more fun.

I had a sexual relationship with a guy because I didn't think he would like me otherwise and I didn't know any better.

I based my social life on what others thought. My life was revolved around living for the sake of fun and not much else.

I felt empty and hollow inside. I knew there was a void but did not realise what it was.

I didn't know what real love was and put my trust in meaningless flings.

This was my life and it was not life abundant.


I constantly felt inferior to others, and wanted a life that was more "meaningful". The problem was that before 2008 I did not know there is a God who cares for me and loves me very very much, so much that he sent his one and only son Jesus to be crucified on the cross..

Why God is good....All the time.

The moment I got a touch of the Holy Spirit my previously cracked and broken heart began to mend together again. I was filled with His peace and mercy immediately. Life looked new, the sky was brighter, the sun glistened like it never had before!

A very powerful thing that has happened to me after meeting Jesus is my wanting to help and serve others.

Prior to becoming a Christian, I was incredibly self centred. I focussed on myself and myself only. I had no desire to help others.

But now, I love to serve! I has become an integral part of my life. I look forward to helping out with whatever I can at C3 and Primal. It gives me a great and powerful sense of joy to be able to assist people.
My very favourite duty in the church would be playing guitar on thursdays with the Primal group. I once heard a friend and fellow C3 attendee and guitarist say to someone: "It's awesome being able to serve doing the thing you love."
That statement sums it up completely for me! It is a great and joyous time to be able to worship the Lord our God!

My inward thinking, shyness and such as gotten not so bad.

Due to my past, I was always recognised as the "quiet kid". God has given me a sense of enthusiasm and maybe even humour! I am now beginning to be restored to the person I was meant to be, rather than a shadow of myself.

I no longer worry as much.

God doesn't like us as his children to worry about anything, and this is backed by scripture:

"For God didn't give you a spirit of fear, but of sound mind"
(paraphrased)

"Rejoice in the Lord always! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything but in petition and prayer present your requests to God."
Philippians 4 - 4:8

I know that God has a great plan, no an amazing plan for us all and if we follow him we will definitely see the results!

I feel more joyful.

Sometimes when I am walking to uni or doing my paper round I will simply beam with joy, just because I can! This never used to happen but lately it seems to be happening heaps and I praise God for that. I live in the moment a lot more, and am trying not to fret about the future or things that are out of my control.


So there you have it.

I still have a long way to go, but God is faithful to complete a work that He has begun!


If you have any questions feel free to ask!

Testimony

Disclaimer:

This testimony begins sadly, but I promise you it ends happily! That's all due to the mighty hand of God.

My Testimony
The Dark Times -

I was born into a world where the idea of hope was not always necessarily apparent. A loving family struggling to survive financially and filled with turmoil was the basis of my existence. Conflict was the bane of my parent’s lives. A particular moment that stood out for me was going into my parent’s room to see my Mum on the bed, eyes closed. Afraid for her life, I attempted to pry her eyes open. My five year old self was relieved to see she was ok, merely sleeping off the affects of too much alcohol. Living a life scattered with events such as these was bound to have somewhat of an adverse affect on my psyche eventually.

However! It was not all bad. My parents loved myself and my older brother very much. They have always been there for me through thick and thin. Though we were close, we did not have the “idyllic” family that is sometimes represented on television shows, with Sunday dinners and the like. Because I was rather sheltered (or so I thought) I did not realise that the idyllic family I saw every day on the tv was not at all common, and in fact quite rare. My Dad’s side of the family lived in Australia so becoming close with my grandparents was an effort done in vain. My Mum had a tumultuous relationship with her parents and sisters, that would later end in our family completely estranging ourselves from her family, due to goings on from my Mum’s past that are too awful to be named. This left a huge sense of grief and sadness in all our hearts during the period when this was discovered, about nine years ago. My Mum was bitter and traumatised for a very long time after this.

“Walking on eggshells” is how I would best describe the years from when I was twelve to sixteen. My parents would argue long into the hours of the morning, which would sometimes end in violence and the occasional visit from the police. I would show up to school tired and emotionally scarred from hearing the screams and the abusive words that would reverberate from my parent’s mouths. What could have been a sanctuary at school was definitely not. I didn’t have any particular aspirations or talents at this time, I didn’t put my all into school work and had no desire to be there. An incident at preschool when I was three years old left me a very shy, nervous person. I felt that there was no hope for a person such as myself. My best friend did more bad for me than good and I longed to fit in with the “cool kids”.

A New Hope -

Turning thirteen held a ray of sunshine for me and a spark of hope. It was compulsory to take music class, and at this I held a great passion for. I came home from school and persuaded my parents to let me get a guitar. Having played guitar himself in addition to my Mum having a desire to learn a musical instrument, he understood that this was an ambition that must be served. So my parents organised for me to hire an old nylon stringed acoustic guitar. This became my “baby” and I cherished it. The first song I attempted to learn was the one of Pink Floyd’s The Wall, the instrumental part. My Dad later admitted that he didn’t expect me to get very far with playing guitar, mainly due to my left handedness and the clumsy, awkward way I held the instrument. To his surprise and mine, I soon picked up the art of playing the guitar. This led to a perserverence I had never witnessed within myself before. I actually saw myself becoming something! Our school music class started a “band” of sorts, with our music teachers being lead guitarist and bassist. This gave a great joy to my life as I discovered the thrill of playing music in front of a crowd. One of the “cool kids” even grudgingly said “you’re pretty good.” I carried this comment with me for a long time.

School became more tolerable and even enjoyable at times at the beginning of year nine with the arrival of a British English teacher and a new girl in my class called Nicole. She soon declared that: “ I think you’re my best friend.” To this I was stoked with having the notion of a friend and life became much better. My new English teacher arrived also and she had a great passion for literature, and genuinely cared about our welfare as her students. She would take a group of us to the movies an hour and a half away, which was very exciting, as in the small town of Cheviot there is not a lot except 500 people and a supermarket in addition to a pub. This entertainment helped me to realise there was in fact a world out there.

It wasn’t all sunshine and happiness however, my new found best friend moved to Dunedin and I was devastated. The sudden nature of her leaving, that is, no notice at all, left me feeling alone and desolate. I was seen as a loner, I didn’t wish to interact with anyone.

The good news was that my parent’s lives appeared to be improving, you could say that the cracks were healing. There was a hope about them, they possessed a fragment of happiness in their lives.

Fast forward to 2008 and I am living in a flat for the first time, attending a hairdressing course with girls who were ahem, interesting and getting by on a student allowance.

I had been corresponding online on Bebo with a very good friend named Rachel. She was going through some difficult times and wanted my advice. She was also a support to me, helping me to do the right things and such.

One day while I was staying in Cheviot with my family I received a text from Rachel which to be honest scared me slightly. Not the content of the text, but one word that was in it. My friend whom I loved dearly was calling herself a Christian. I didn’t know what to say, I was scared, scared that my friend would change dramatically and never be the Rachel I knew again. I spoke with my parents, their opinion of Christianity was similar to my viewpoint at this stage, not good. “You wont do that will you Gemma?” my Dad said with a hint of apprehension in his voice. “No, no, of course not! Who would do such a thing?!” I replied.

What I didn’t know at this time is that Rachel would persevere with trying to get me to come to C3, the church she had joined. She would casually ask if I would like to go to Primal with her and I would casually decline, fobbing her off with an excuse such as “Oh sorry I’m really tired” Or “No I can’t sorry I have work then” To her great credit one night while I was staying over at her house while listening to some great tunes, she once again invited me to come to C3 the next day. Seeing as I was staying at her house anyway and had nothing to do on a Sunday, I threw caution to the wind and agreed. To be honest I was kind of excited about it!

A New Life –

I rose early along with Rachel and we waited at the bus stop to go to church. To say I was nervous was partly a lie, I was petrified. What would my parents think of this? We arrived at 9am because Rachel was on café duties that morning. She said: “There’ll be music!” I didn’t realise that she meant worship music, which I would later grow to love and thirst for. It was a Fathers day service and I would later say to Rachel that I thought it was extremely biased towards males, not realising that as a fathers day, that was a one off. We stood amongst the congregation, myself not knowing what to do, everybody else had their hands raised in worship and were singing. I stared at the projector screen, not knowing what to do. I certainly did not want to sing, or raise my hands. That left me standing there awkwardly.
I texted my parents to wish Dad a happy fathers day and said: “I don’t know how you guys are going to feel about this, but I went to church.” My Dad replied with: “Oh, you been converted yet?”

My world had been shaken up, turned upside down and I didn’t even know it yet….

After going to Primal and C3 a few more times I began to develop an appreciation for it, look forward to it even.
Life went on as normal for the time being – hairdressing school, work at the call centre and living with a new flat.
Here is the funny part, I was living in a flat with Christians and didn’t even know it yet!
Soon after this, in mid November, my Mum told me she had to go get a brain scan. I was frightened and held back tears as put on a brave face. When I went to visit them, they also were fearing the worst. Thoughts raced around my mind. What if Mum has cancer? What if it’s terminal? While spending time with her in Cheviot I tried to be optimistic and said to Mum: “It might be nothing!” But her reply filled me with dread: “My left hand is losing strength, it’s getting weaker all the time.” The left side of her face and body also were numb. On my birthday, I went back home, and the next morning I developed a ritual of praying for my mum on the bus to course. I would do this religiously and depended on it with all my might.

I was filled with hope, but the doubt was also there in the back of my mind.

About two weeks later after much nervous waiting, my Mum gave me some excellent news, the scan didn’t reveal anything! She was going to be ok! I revelled in this news and felt extremely glad.

Little did I know, God was about to come into my life in a massive way.

Rachel had spoken of the greatness that was Primal Getaway and how awesome it was going to be. I decided, yes, the surf sun and fun sounds amazing and I will come.

The road trip to the Coramandel was interesting, in a van with people I had only known for a few months, I was in awe of everyone and everything.

At one of the meetings, which in a nutshell was like a church service for young people, Steve Burgess, our pastor said: “Who’s hungry for more?” Yes I sure am! I thought to myself. We all stood to get a touch of the Holy Spirit. Another pastor Brendan Hall circulated around all the people and touched their heads and forcefully said: “fall!” When he got to me he did the same but I wouldn’t budge, mainly due to a lack of trust in God, so I continued to stand. The second time he got to me he said: “Fall, fall, fall!!” and so I did, because I wanted the Holy Spirit to come on me.

Once I hit the ground, I lay there for a bit but then something remarkable happened. I began to shed tears. I did this for about half and hour and while I did I had such a great feeling of peace. I was renewed, I was cleansed, I was forgiven!

That was the moment I first let God into my life and I have never been the same. I now feel love and compassion for people as well as myself and it is no longer “all about me”.

I definitely beleive that God is real!

For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future – Jeremiah 29.11

God took a girl who felt utterly lost and hopeless and gave her a joy, a passion for living and for others.
He gave me a hope, and a reason to live.

Drink to your health.

It has been a long long time since I have written to you, precious blog!
So in saying that it is time for a long awaited catch up! :)

I have been staying at my parents home in Cheviot which is approximately 1 and a half hours away from Christchurch. Why? Well first off there was a super massive earth quake which shocked and frightened most of christchurch as well as outer suburbs to be quite hhonest!
The quake registered a large 7.1 which is BIG. The last big earthquake N.Z had was quite a few years ago, and was in Wellington.
I have never felt so jumpy and agitated as I did 10 days ago. What has aggravated this is the huge amount of aftershocks that have followed! Some were comparable to the earthquake itself, some were tiny little movements, but they all had somewhat of an impact.
Another reason for wanting to stay in Cheviot is to spend some good ol' quality hang times with my parents! This has been great and I feel recharged from being able to have some good sleep. I also feel like I have made a better connection with my parents which is awesome! An amazing thing has happened, my parents a doing a "house swap" with a lovely lady who lives about half an hour away. What a blessing! This lady is Christian, and she openly said that she believes this is God's provision for both herself and my parents. Hallelujah! I'm beleiving and praying that this could plant a seed in their minds, a wee seed of faith. That would be wonderful!

On a slightly different note, a small library book may have changed my families life...
This one book, on the subject of fresh fruit juice and vegetables and raw foods, has shown myself and my parents the importance of good health. My Dad stopped drinking and said he wants to "live to see his kids get married and have kids" How awesome is this! Praise God! I myself took part in a two day juice/soup/fruit fast, which was challenging! I decided to go the healthy way and abandon the ways of my old eating habits! I have noticed changes in the way I feel and my energy levels have risen! They have risen so much that I have started exercising regularly again. Yesterday I ran on a treadmill for half an hour! A year ago I would not have had the confidence to partcipate in such an action.

That's all I have for now, oh and as well as the fact that I am coming back to Christchurch tonight, and am both excited and scared.

Love you all! God Bless!

New New New

It has been so long since I've written in here that I feel like I should be having some sort of reuniting ceremony with this blog! I guess I just didn't feel the urge to post anything over the past month, which saddens me slightly but life indeed does go on. There have been weeks of mourning and sadness, and then weeks overflowing with rejoycing and love and freedom.
Lately I've been thinking about how much time and freedom there is in my life. Apart from the commitments I have at C3 and Primal along with connect groups and such, I have a relitavely high amount of spare time in my life. For instance, if someone were to call me up right now and ask if I wanted to come to the beach (not likely in this weather no!) I would most definitely have the time to accept such an invitation.
However I have been wondering what it would be like timewise when I do get married a few years down the track (nothing like the power of optimism!) Will all free time leave me! Will I feel like I don't have any time at all? I believe that such a statement isn't entirely accurate. Yes things would be busy, butthe happiness and joy (I think :) ) that comes with bring married I believe would definitely help in that respect. Oh yipes, I'm speaking in riddles! I don't think this blog is going to be all that structured to be honest. What I'm trying to say is that I love the free time I have right now, but I know that there will be a day where that free time perhaps will no longer be so vast.
Continuing on the subject of marriage one day, I revised my "list". I first heard about these magical lists when I started coming to Primal. These lists include the qualities that your ideal partner would possess. Mine included neccessities such as: "doesn't tower over me" and "loves God" "Isn't afraid to be a man" Yeah, among others of course. The idea of having a list like this seems a great one to me because it means you're going to be on the lookout for the person who truly suits YOU. It wont be a person who is inconsiderate of you, they will love you with all their heart! And with any luck, they will love God with all their heart and follow God in that respect.
It's funny how important something like height comes into the equation when looking for a prospective partner. Of course, being 5'1, it becomes Very important. That's because I don't want to feel like a midget whilst being married. But the question that invades my mind is, what if the ideal husband for me who is perfect in every way and ticks off all the boxes except for the height one, what if God wants me to be with a guy who is very tall? This puzzles me a lot. Although I get the feeling that God knows what's best for me and would take my list into account. That being, if the list is qualities that God wants in a husband for me.

I feel I've gone on and on!

Time to change the subject just a bit.

It is still very much on my heart to play music, and musicians like this I like a lot!

Mgmt are amazing and ideally one day I will see them live. Their experimental lyrics and psychidelia are what make my day!
Of course I <3 many more bands in many different types of genres but Mgmt are ones that are above the rest for some reason. I think it's their combination of sound and image that does it.

Ideally I would be playing in a band on stage every night and one day it could happen! There is nothing like the buzz of playing a song on stage in front of people.
I am happy that with my meagre paying paper round I can listen to my favourite songs..

Bad week turned lovely

This week hasn't been the easiest.

It's strange because it wasn't circumstantial, it was more an accumulation of things that happened that on their own wouldn't even have been noticed had my mood been less melancholy. Small, insignificant things such as not having enough bus money and therefore needing to walk to band practice..

I understand that those of you who read this will see it as a bit of a rant, vent and I apologise for that! I simply feel it is necessary for me to let this all out so that I can move on from it and live life happily once again!

I feel better already...

So the beginning of the week started out rather average and badly. My flatmates, who are comprised of a couple, were having an argument. Not many people know this about me but I grew up in an environment where fighting and arguing was extremely frequent. So I am really quite sensitive to it when it happens. My flatmates were using aggressive language and threats and so on and it just made me realise how greatful I am for the church, how harmonious the relationships are there. It makes me want to have relationships that are loving and kind, rather than full of bitterness and anger. I do have a bit of an idealistic view when it comes to relationships however, having never been in a serious one myself. I am thankful everyday that there are strong role models of marriage, friendships and relationships that I can grow and learn from.

Just a wee note: this does get more happy! I promise it isn't emo the whole way through!

University was slightly better, though it was essential to walk the 50 minutes and not bus! Music theory lectures are my absolute favourite...
But then I texted my parents, hope for something along the lines of encouragement, to find that my Mum and Dad were having an argument too! Arrrgghh! I was praying to God throughout the day, that I could depend on Him and be joyous, but it hadn't quite happened yet...

Here's where things began to look up...
http://www.google.co.nz/imgres?imgurl=http://lovelythings.typepad.co.uk/photos/uncategorized/2008/09/05/dormaorganicbedding.jpg&imgrefurl=http://lovelythings.typepad.co.uk/lovely_things/green_eco_fairtrade/&usg=__xdG8kMjuBj0sIiYC5gEYWMNRBQA=&h=330&w=380&sz=22&hl=en&start=0&tbnid=LtF4znuHT69jNM:&tbnh=135&tbnw=208&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlovely%2Bthings%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Den%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D858%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C3&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=878&ei=sQpaTI3VJZO0cJW1rJgJ&page=1&ndsp=28&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:0&tx=93&ty=78&biw=1024&bih=858

I headed along to Primal's weekly occurring band practice with my expectations along the same level they had been most of the day, rather low. But something wonderful happened which uplifted the rest of my week in an amazing week. Pretty simple really. Instead of going straight into practise as was the norm, we had a time of prayer, soaking in the presence of God and just becoming far more peaceful and joy filled. From that moment on I realised that what most likely was happening was that God wanted me realise just how much I need Him. And it worked to a great extent! From that time my week has gone far more smoothly with only a few cracks in the road.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you! Declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you.

That scripture has gotten me through many difficult times....

Wednesday night was amazing. I love spending time hanging out with all you awesome people! You put my faith in humility! Laughter! Fellowship! Eating! Getting into the Word!

I got home last night to discover that the music videos on television were far superior to their usual standard. I expected a bit of Kesha, maybe some Jason Deruelo and then perhaps some Miley Cyrus. To my excitement, I discovered several new favourite bands such as I Blame Coco, Metric and The Klaxons. It is such a treat to hear new songs, I love it!

And now here we are amongst what is thursday, one of what I know to be my favourite days because Primal is on!!

I hope this hasn't been to intense a read, I love you all! Love every moment! God Bless and Goodbye!

Primal Day!

So it has come around to Thursday once again, and in a way this day is rather significant for quite a few reasons. For one, it's payday. Being a student who is living on a student loan it becomes essential to pinch pennies. This does however clash with the gospel which instructs us to give cheerfully. This is an aspect in my personality that I am struggling to contend with everyday. The huge contrast between counting every dollar along with the desire to be generous frequently plays a game of tug of war in my heart. However I believe it is important to give this matter to God, because He knows our entire hearts and minds!

Primal. Now this is a doozie. Primal is the main centre of attention on Thursday nights. Every time it reveals a new revelation, relationships with friends grow tighter and stronger as we all come to grow stronger as brothers and sisters in Christ. As we worship our God, who lives in all of us, we take on new elements to our character as well as deepening our faith.

As of several months ago, I have started to be involved in the worship at Primal. This has been at times challenging and even perhaps frustrating as we grow stronger as a unit and as a team. It is very fulfilling to play on thursday night however, especially when the presence of God comes down! One thing that has become perpeptually obvious to me is that music is something that has got to be in my path. Ever since I was a child I was banging on a saucepan or singing into a microphone in a dress up tutu. This childhood quirk has gone on to create a woman who never leaves home without earphones in. Whether it's romantic pop, a dose of heavy metal or even some folk I have to have it in my day. I strongly hope and wish and pray that my creative side is something that never leaves me, but becomes far more prominent in what I do, that things I produce and the music I eventually and hopefully come to make. Whether I go on to do a music course or do a few music papers at university next year I just pray that it is something that is a large part of my life as it is now. It was greatly encouraging when it was prophesised over me a few weeks ago that I would sing. I found this to be rather ironic as I had just come back from a conference in Auckland called SING! Praise the Lord.

I want to leave with some words of will hopefully be seen as wise. Whatever you're passionate about, pursue it! Follow your dreams! God will provide! Go down the path you are called to go down!

God Bless you all, forever and ever, amen. :)

Life is....

Life could be related almost completely to going for a skate.
You know.
You're cruising along, it's a beautiful sunny day, birds are singing, mp3 is blaring and all of a sudden....

CRASH!

A tiny wee stone has gotten caught up in your sturdy skateboard wheels

You've fallen over and are now experiencing what only could be described as searing pain.

Perhaps you've scraped your knee.

You might even have mud on your new clothes...

This will make you feel indignant at first and maybe even sad, or perhaps angry and betrayed,

However, the main point to remember here is that this happens to EVERYBODY, not just some of us. Even though everybody experiences pain at very different levels it is much the same for all of us, no matter age, race or gender.

Maybe your beloved pet passed away, or you're being bullied at school. Or maybe you had a fall out with a friend...

Maybe all you can feel at this present time is anger, hurt and joylessness.

It can be very tough to reach out for help at this point....

I have good news! The Good News! The Gospel! Well in an actual fact it is God who made the Gospel.

The Bible can be used as such a great tool for wisdom, soul searching, advice and the food for your soul!

Some people may think that I sound like I'm tripping but I know God is real.

You do not have to agree with me!

This what I believe and I feel that it has changed my light.

I am slowly moving from the darkness into the light that is oh so completely immersing.

The Holy Spirit tingles in my hands and feet and I know that He is watching over me.

I am not alone...

Love, Mercy Believer and all that other important stuff

Over the past six months that I haven't been blogging on here I have come to discover that perserverance is key. Just like the woman who did not give up even after Jesus denied the healing of her daughter, it is so essential to NOT GIVE UP. Whether it be in your work place, whether you are trying to find a job or at your school or church!

A day in the life....

Uni. Uni, uni, uni. Some may see it as that big scary place where only the "clever" ones go after they finish high school. Well have I got news for you! There is such a wide variation of people at uni that it's hard to think of a category that Isn't filled!
Two things that may seem incredibly unrelated is university and common courtesy. It can be really taxing making your way through the masses of people, especially if you're a couple of minutes late!
But even just a wee smile can make someones day! Truthfully. If someone is having a lame day, or just in a bad mood in general, saying "hi" can be a defining moment for that person. I'm not talking about the people trying to sell something, or greenpeace for that matter, but just a genuine act of friendship to a stranger.
Jesus would agree with this too! You may have realised that I always seem to bring up God or Jesus in my blogs. Well hey, this is my blog! Haha kidding. I love God and Jesus so much that I think they deserve a mention or five.
Another important aspect of university is to try make it to all your lectures and tutorials. It really does help with your final grade!
Finally, be social. University is like a meca for making new friends. There are different clubs and organisations that are specifically tailored to every type of interest you could possibly imagine. I joined a Christian group as uni called Christian Union. I don't go every week but find it complements Primal and C3 well and it also helped me make more friends with similar interests.
A final note, be patient with the busses! Yes, the orbiter can sometimes take an hour. On the shorter route. But it flies by ( maybe ) if you have the tunes cranking!!
Also, don't forget your student loan...it sure can add up! Mine is getting up there because I did a couple of courses before uni...But hey, just think, when you have a job you can pay it off in no time!
That's about all you need to know about how to survive uni.

Today I missed most of my lectures because I felt ill. I am happy to say I now feel better.
Last Thursday we had the last of the SheMAN competition...Mr Whippy! Apt name I say. If the name didn't explain it, we had to answer sport related questions and if we were wrong, we got whipped by a teatowel!! Not as horrific as I thought it might be...phew.
I've been playing on the worship team at Primal every week for about a month now and I love it! The songs are now familiar to me, I can play them without needing music in front of me! Good times.
In about two weeks my great friend Rachel is getting married! Can't wait, so proud of her and Dan. April 1st also has something else exciting, holidays! 3 weeks of pure bliss. I'm going down south with my parents to check out the houses they brought down there. Also I'll get to see my awesome friend Julie who moved down there a while back.
Life has sure been busy. I've been helping out a wee bit in the Kidz Church department at C3, we recently started doing worship with them instead of the serious adult songs. The songs are cool as! So upbeat! Sophia is a miracle worker in the Kidz Church team, uneatable!

That's all for now folks!

What an outrageous day!

Okay so for about three weeks I have known that I today I was going to visit Gloriavale, the Christian Community out in Westport.
What I didn't know is that nothing could prepare me for the surreal, intense, amazing day I would have.

Got to uni about 9:30am, we left in a convoy of vans a bit after that. Today was chilly! Winter is here people! Winter as we now know it!
So after freezing myself, we made the ardouos journey to Springfield and then further on to Westport, to let the fun begin...

I was mystified with how beautiful the scenery was on the way up through Arthur's Pass, stunning forests and greenery. Arthur must be proud.
Got to Gloriavale about 2pm to find that our group was standing in a shed watching over a dozen cows being automatically milked. One of the "Shepards" was leading the proceedings...he mainly explained what their community (which is composed of approximately 420 members) is all about.

Next we were lead up to a smallish lounge room adjacent to a kitchen where we were given glasses of fizzy apple juice, and home made biscuits that resembled chocolate wheatens, very nice!

Next Howard preceeded to speak at length about the community's beliefs and how they feel about those. To put it bluntly, the community believe that if you do not completely surrender your will to God, that you are destined for the firey furnaces of Hell. This may be hard to read for some people, but please remember that this is their belief and not everybody agrees with this.

There were quite a few sticky questions asked, and these were mainly answered with: "It is God's will" Hmmm!

After a tour of the expansive community grounds, we had quite a nice meal and settled down for the night for a sample of the concert that is held during winter. Quite moving really, beautiful music!

This was all good and fine, but I did not enjoy after the meal, when every outsider was surrounded by a friendly face, to "talk" to us about their beliefs. This made me very uncomfortable as I already have what I would describe as a loving relationship with God and Jesus. I was asked about my beleifs by a beautiful fifteen year old, she was incredibly persistent in letting me know that she thought it was their way or the high way...
I did what I do when I'm on autopilot (it had been a very long day!) smile and nod with a glazed look in my eyes.
I was involved in this conversation for around an hour and a half, other young girls came in went, telling me about their wonderful life, and how the outside world is not safe.

I am glad to say I made it home all well and good! I feel extremely blessed to have freedom in God, and even though faith can be tested sometimes it usually just makes it stronger!!

Bye for now :)

An introduction....

Hi! You all probably know me as that girl from Primal, or University. The one who will most likely always wave to you! Well I thought it's about time I put out some of my thoughts on the world wide web, for sure!
So much better than twitter....

Anyway, not sure what this blog will turn into, but as I can hear American Idol in the background, and the lights quite low, I am thinking this will be somewhat of a summary of my life to date and what I think about that.

The blogs I've read so far are awesome, and I reckon that's because it's like you can step inside that persons mind for just a while and see what's happening! It's not that often that you can do that really.

Sooo....this year already, which has only just started to tell the truth, has been massive! Why you ask? Well, you see, there have been a lot of challenges in my life, and that is mainly because of God. God has done way more for me than I can express on here, and for this I am forever grateful. Gone are the days where I blame others for my mistakes, where I feel down and cannot get out of it. I now have a reason to smile, and especially to smile at the person who serves me at the shop - though it took ages to learn to do that!

Tomorrow I am going with a group from uni and we'll be travelling to Westport! You might want to know why that is! We are going to visit the Gloriavale Christian Community. I'm really looking forward to this!
It's a part of the uni paper I'm doing for sociology. Too good an opportunity to pass up! :)

So at the moment I live with two teenagers, and it never ceases to amaze me how passionate they are. Yes it may be about a computer game or Justin Beiber, but that's awesome!!
Their vibrancy, is just great.

Praise God, that's all for now folks!